I have talked about writing an article about children and their cards for a long time. There was even the thought of doing a complete book about it. It certainly deserves it. But for now, an article will serve to convey some of my thoughts on the subject. I hope you find this interesting and informative.
There are several benefits from knowing the cards that can have direct implications upon our relationships with our children. First, it can help us understand them better. In understanding our children more we can harmonize our decisions about them with their true natures, helping them to reach their goals better and complimenting their basic natures instead of competing with them. It’s a sad fact that many parents impose their doctrines and ideals upon their children, never questioning whether or not these ideals are good for the children or not. They may be good for us but our children are not always like us. Many times they are very different from us and our structures, which we hold so dear, can be destructive of our children’s basic natures. Understanding the nature of our children’s Birth and Planetary Ruling Cards can help us help them. And isn’t helping our children what we really want to do?
The other benefit is that looking at the way the card system describes our relationships with our children can help us understand the dynamic of our being with them. If we see, for example, that one of our children is our Mars Card in the Life Spread, we could know that they make us angry, but not on purpose. The anger we feel about them is just a function of how their personality blends with ours. That realization could alleviate a lot of conflict and in some cases, abuse. We could stop thinking that they are doing things to make us mad on purpose and just realize that anyone with that card would probably have the same affect on us. That could help us to not get mad when we usually would. What a blessing that would be! So, let’s take a look at our children and our relationship with them from the cards’ point of view and see what we can learn. As you read these descriptions, keep in mind that it can be their Birth Card or Planetary Ruling Card. These general guidelines will help you understand your children but keep in mind that I have lumped the cards of the same number together. There are additional distinctions by virtue of their suit that I may not mention here.
Children who are:
Aces – are ambitious and active. They are vessels of God’s creative force and always are into something. They can be impatient and overly aggressive at times. They can be leaders and are usually courageous. They are working a lot on self-confidence. You can help them by giving them responsibility to do things in order for them to develop the self-confidence that they can set goals and achieve them. They get a lot of joy and fulfillment from accomplishment. Allow them to have their dreams and encourage them to pursue their desires without judging them harshly when they fail or do not accomplish their goals. Encourage them to finish what they start without judging them for not finishing things they start. Be just as proud of their accomplishments as they are. Tell them it is okay to be special for what they do because this is what they truly want and need. Be sure and reward them for accomplishing things that you ask them to do. Also, never diagnose them with some attention deficit disorder just because they have more energy than you do.
Twos – are talkative and like to be with someone. They are highly intelligent but often have fears, mostly fears of being alone or losing their loved ones. They are usually the most beautiful children. Encourage their mental gifts and reward them for their brilliance, but don’t forget that they usually have great fears inside. Allow them to express these feelings and to know that they are safe to do so with you. Be proud of their intelligence but do not make it a condition of your love. The world we live in already rewards the intelligent more than most others. Make your love unconditional for them.
Threes – are usually the most active of children, along with the Fives. And they will be the most creative and at other times, fearful and worried. They are the ones most commonly diagnosed with attention deficit disorders. But remember that ADD is just a word invented by doctors to describe a group of behaviors. It is not really a disease at all and most Threes will exhibit these characteristics because they are so highly creative. Never give these kids drugs to calm them down. Instead, get them involved in activities where their abundant and natural creativity can be expressed. Have them explore different art forms, music, pottery, creative writing, acting and other avenues. Remember they may not have any attraction to practicality or organization. Encourage their uniqueness and the expression of the many ideas they have. Do not get mad at them when they jump from one activity to the other. Instead encourage interest in a variety of healthy avenues of self-expression so that they always have options to choose from and to move to. You may have a world-class artist living in your home. Try not to have these children fit into a mold that you, or society, has created for them. Allow them to be themselves, not you.
Fours – enjoy structure and routine. They actually need structure more than most of the other kids. Keep their surroundings orderly and their life on a predictable schedule. This is what makes them feel safe and at home. These children are builders and organizers. Allow them to build things and listen to their suggestions for how you can do things better when they make them. Security is very important to them and if you realize what their security is made of, you can coexist with them peacefully. The 4© needs people, mostly his or her family, the 4§ needs order, routine, and explanations for everything to feel safe, the 4¨ needs money and the opportunity to work for it while the 4ª will take security from home, family and in doing things. These kids can be very stubborn if this security is threatened. Encourage them to work for what they want. Give them chores and a schedule and follow up with it consistently. Consistency is what they need most from you.
Fives – are restless and adventurous. Like children who are Threes, they can be treated for ADD even though this is just part of their personality. They may not stay with things very long. They are not here to accomplish things but to experience things. The experiencing of things is more important to them than acquisition or the attainment of other goals. So try not to impose any goal-oriented value system upon them. They often end up with an overbearing father figure who tries to mold them into some rigid structure. Is that you? If so, lighten up or you may condemn them to years of therapy along with aversion for any authority figures, which will ultimately hurt their chances for accomplishment later in life. These kids love to travel and try new things. Take them hiking, camping and traveling. If they are just too wound up, take them for a ride in your car. That will always calm them down.
Sixes – are much more aware of the concept of responsibility than others. And the concept of fairness. This awareness can cause them to be very hard on themselves, so much so that that they get angry with anyone who accuses them of anything. And for this same reason, they make fierce competitors, often excelling in sports. They are somewhat under Saturn’s hand their entire life and are their own biggest judge and jury. Try to understand this so that you do not add to the burden they are already carrying. When you see them being irresponsible, be loving but firm and help them back on the path. They can be somewhat quiet and immovable at times. They are usually very sensitive to everyone around them, much more so than you may imagine. And the feelings of those around them can really affect their peace of mind. See if you can provide them with a peaceful surrounding as much as possible. They love and thrive on beauty and harmony. Help them achieve a balance between being irresponsible and being very hard on themselves for not doing what they think they ‘should’ do in order to deserve your love. Do not underestimate their intelligence either. Some of them are geniuses.
Sevens – are sensitive children who go from being very happy and carefree to being worried, pessimistic or depressed. Help them achieve some balance with this by explaining that life is not all good or all bad. All Sevens have gifts of some sort, an area where they are connected to a God-like force. Their natural gifts are often amazing to behold. Encourage the development and expression of these gifts. Many of these kids are very powerful and need to learn not to bully others. Help them see how powerful they are and at the same time how much their power can affect other children and people around them. Help them use this power responsibly. They are all born with a notion that they are special in some way. Let them know that they are special and that it is okay to be special. They often end up in leadership positions when they grow up.
Eights – are dynamic, stubborn, strong and powerful. They are going to try and get their way whatever the cost and usually will. Do not let their natural power scare you or you will end up competing with them which will probably result in your losing out to them. See this power in them and encourage them to use it to help others. Hopefully it will be okay with you if they are more powerful than you. Take delight in how clever they can be while not allowing them to make things happen that could hurt them or others. Realize that they are going to be pretty stubborn and will not take direction as easily as other kids. But once they learn something, they will not forget it. So, be patient and consistent and help them see how their power can affect others so that they can learn to use it wisely.
Nines – are very sensitive children who feel the feelings of everyone around them. They are kind and gentle and likely to help others before anyone asks them to. They will even help others and get their feelings hurt when the others do not repay them in kind. They are very psychic and you should encourage them to share what they pick up on. Some of them may even remember their former lives and tell you about them at an early age. These children are somewhat prone to disappointment as they have some notions about life that are not consistent with reality. This is their karma, not yours. Help them to see the truth and that they are not victims in this world while at the same time allowing them freedom to make their own choices. Help them see that it is their choices that determine their fate.
Tens – are full of ambition and energy and usually bent on accomplishment. Encourage them to set goals for themselves and let them know how proud you are when they achieve them. They may have too much energy for you at times but that is their nature. They are here to do things, not just talk about them and many have some special gifts. If they say, “someday I will grow up to be president”, don’t doubt it. If they shoot for the stars, they may at the least reach the moon. In some ways the world is their apple. But try to instill in them a sense of value that encourages them to help others as they reach for their goals.
Jacks – are fun loving and may never really grow up. They are the Peter Pans of the deck and are inquisitive and full of ideas. They enjoy having fun more than most children. Games and stories, role-playing and fun are their domain. They may shirk responsibility to some extent and are destined to deal with it more and more as they grow up. They are proud of themselves and expect others to recognize their special-ness. Encourage their creative expression in whatever form they seem drawn to. Many have special creative gifts that can be developed into a satisfying career later in life. Teach them the value of honesty and integrity as their model of the world may give little value to these concepts.
Queens – are loving and mothering of others and have a great ability to take responsibility. You may notice them taking responsibility for their siblings at an early age. But they are also proud and know that they are special in some way. Help them feel that it is okay to have a special destiny. Many of these children are creative as well and should be encouraged to develop their creative gifts in whatever area they express an interest. The children who are Queens will also act much like the ones described below who are Kings, since they share much of the leadership ability that the Kings enjoy.
Kings – are natural leaders and will naturally take a leadership role from an early age. They may even rule the entire household from an early age. Encourage them to take responsibility and watch what happens. They can be stubborn and strong willed but keep in mind that this is not a foot soldier you are raising here but a King! Authority figures will always be tested by them and they may not acknowledge authority naturally as many children do. They are the authority, if you see what I mean. They will demand higher standards from their parents and you better be ready to measure up. Even so, they are usually very loving and will make you proud if you give them the chance. Try to avoid micromanaging them but instead assign them tasks and reward them for being responsible.
Your Relationship With Your Children
The next step in this article is to discuss how we relate to our children through the relationship connections we share with them. This is also very important and can set the stage for an increased understanding of them, which can be very beneficial. The main point I would like to make here is that many parents need to take more responsibility for themselves in their relationship with their kids. If you are a parent who finds yourself fighting with your kids or getting angry at them all the time, this is an indication that you are probably not looking at yourself very much but instead blaming them for what you may be feeling about what they do or say. The best thing we can do for our kids is to be grown up and admit our own faults while trying to set a good role model of an adult. A parent that fights with their children is not really being an adult at all.
Use the same connections in Love Cards that you would for other relationships. But apply some of the meanings below to them for your children.
The Moon Connection
When a Moon connection exists between a parent and child, it is usually a blessing in their relationship. If the parent is the Moon Card, then they will naturally assume a mothering and supportive role with the child, which is the natural order of things. Keep in mind that in this case, the child will naturally want to lead the relationship and in many cases suggest or decide what you will do together or where you will go, etc. I consider it to be very good karma for any child who has a mother that is Moon to them. If you are a leader type yourself and yet the Moon Card to your child, this may cause a problem for you. We cannot fight these energies. Well, we can, but it will not change them in the least. If you are the Moon Card, be a mother to your child, giving complete and unconditional love, and forget about the rest. If, on the other hand, your child is your Moon Card, then it is your job to show your child what to do and where to go, etc. You are the leader and I will bet that your child will love the things you turn them on to and the places you take them. The communication with your child will be very good with this connection and it is a blessing to be acknowledged fully.
The Venus Connection
Having a Venus connection with your child is very good as it promotes general compatibility and love between you. If you are your child’s Venus Card, you know that they love you because you are the embodiment of what they love in life. If the reverse is true you feel this way about them. Either way, this creates a strong bond that makes the two of you want to spend time together. A past life Venus connection (from the Spiritual Spread) could mean the two of you have been married in a former lifetime, an energy that most mothers or fathers can feel.
The Mars Connection
This one is very important to take note of and understand. A lot of problems can be alleviated or eliminated by an understanding of how this can manifest in your relationship with your children. It is important to know if you are their Mars Card or if they are yours. If they are your Mars Card, this can be problematic. Here you have a child who represents in some way the things that you dislike about yourself. This causes you to get angry at them when they act a certain way. However, you need to know that your anger in this case is really about your relationship with yourself. The child is just acting the way they do for their own reasons. They are not intentionally trying to make you mad. It’s just that you have a ‘mad button’ that certain things they do will push. Try to control your anger and take it to a deeper level instead of getting mad and abusing your child, either verbally or otherwise. They are not the enemy. In this case, all of the problems of the relationship fall on your shoulders. It is up to you.
If, on the other hand, you are the Mars Card of your child, the reverse is true. Things you do or say will energize them, in some cases making them angry at you. The best use of this Mars energy that you catalyze in them is to do constructive things. Do things with your child. Work together, play together but by all means be energetic with them. Avoid games where you compete with them for this will only make things worse. Instead, choose cooperative games. Be on their side, like the coach of their little league or something like that. This way, your Mars energy is working together to achieve a common goal instead of being directed at each other competitively. How is a child supposed to compete with you anyway?
The Jupiter Connection
This connection doesn’t have any outstanding characteristics that would have a great impact on your relationship with your child. It does promote a mutual understanding of life and philosophies which in turn promotes compatibility between you, and sometimes a spiritual bond. If you are Jupiter to your child in the Life Spread, that child will benefit from you in many ways, including financially.
The Saturn Connection
This connection can be good or bad, depending mostly on the consciousness of the parent. When the parent is the Saturn Card to the child, this can be an ideal connection since the father in particular in a parent/child relationship is meant to teach the child self-discipline and to set boundaries for the child. It can happen with the mother too, and often in a situation where the child’s father is absent. The trick is to not be too heavy handed about it. Just your presence is enough for the child to be on his or her best behavior, and a reminder to them. You probably will not even have to say anything. With this in mind, be loving and clear when you do criticize the child, knowing that he or she already feels criticized by you most of the time. Teach your child by example more than punishment. Also, watch a tendency to be overly harsh with them. Perhaps your zealous pursuit of perfection in your children is actually a manifestation of some areas within yourself where you feel lacking. Be honest about this and do not try and make your children perfect to overcome your own imperfection.
If your child is your Saturn Card then they can see all your weaknesses and faults. They love you deeply but God has given them the gift to be your teacher and they will unconsciously seek to help you reach perfection by reminding you of where you are lacking. But how many adults can accept their child as their teacher? This, as you can see, can present a real problem. But these energies cannot be changed. Hopefully you will earn your child’s respect by being the best parent you can.
The Uranus Connection
This is another important connection to be aware of because it can drive parents wild when it exists in a certain respect. Specifically when the child is your Uranus Card, they will seem to defy your direction and attempts to mold them. Since most parents believe it is their job to direct and mold their children, this can be infuriating. The Uranian child will consistently seem to do exactly the opposite that you tell them to. And for the most part this will not be a conscious thing on their part. Their unpredictable nature, from your point of view alone, will have them showing up late or not at all or, in most cases, doing what you feel they shouldn’t. You have to realize that God has given you this Uranus child to help you let go of some of your concepts and attachments. The more you try to control them, the farther they will drift from you. You may have to let them go their own way most of the time and have faith that they will get all that they need and deserve from the rest of the people in their life. If you do, you will have them as a friend for life.
If you are the Uranus Card to your child, this can cause a sense of uncertainty in them because they never know, from their point of view, if you can be trusted or depended upon. This is a specific karmic pattern for your child, one in which there is probably little you can do about it except be aware and compassionate. If you can reassure them that you love them and never intend to leave them hanging, it might help. The two of you will be friends for life.
The Neptune Connection
This connection creates a psychic link with your child, along with a certain amount of fantasy. If they are your Neptune Card in the Life Spread, they will the child who can never do any wrong in your eyes. But this perception often turns out to be an illusion and many parents with this connection are shocked when they eventually find out that their child has all the same problems as other children, or sometimes a lot more. Overall it is a good connection as long as the parent is not ignoring what might be serious problems in the personality or behavior of the child.
When the parent is the Neptune Card to the child the reverse is true and this child will overlook the parent’s faults. This occurs frequently with children whose Birth or Planetary Ruling Card falls in the Neptune column or row of the Life Spread. It also occurs with children whose Birth Card or PR Card is a Nine or Six, since both of these have a great deal of Neptune energy associated with them. This child will adore his or her parent in spite of what may be many bad characteristics in them. And this child will certainly forgive the sins of the parent over and over again.
The Pluto Connection
This connection is like a super Mars connection. So all that applies to the Mars connection applies here, but in a more intensified way. Combined with a Saturn connection this would invariably lead to abuse of some kind. A child who is your Pluto Card, but especially the one in the Life Spread, is going to challenge you and bring up feelings that are intense and often explosive. It is the nature of Pluto to unearth the deepest and most hidden feelings we have and this relationship could certainly do that to the parent. This would not be something that the child is doing consciously or intentionally so that the burden of responsibility for what actually happens in the relationship falls upon the parent. But Pluto, being so strong in its expression, can often be hard to control.
If the parent is the Pluto Card of the child, the reverse is true. Knowing this, the parent can at least understand that their presence in the life of the child is indeed challenging on a deep level. Children, having less life experience, may not have a chance of bringing any consciousness into this area where intense feelings may dominate their behavior. On the positive side, this connection could be an impetus for the child to make some fundamental changes in life. However, since this energy would be present anytime the child is with the parent, the child may choose to distance himself or herself from this parent once they are old enough to take care of themselves. It may be just too intense to have around all the time.
Karma Card connections between parents are common and represent karmic paybacks from previous lives. The parent and child are mirrors of each other and at least one of the two have a more difficult time with the mirror than the other. This is usually the one who has the other as a first Karma Card. This connection also symbolizes a direct transference of characteristics from the parent to the child. And the child will be a lot like this parent in particular.
Children who are the same Birth Card as one of their parents likewise share many of their traits. Thus, the parent gets a chance to see his or her good and bad in the actions and deeds of this child. How the parent reacts to this and the Karma Card child will all depend upon how well the parent has come to accept their own good and bad traits. These relationships can be just as intense as the Karma Card relationships in some cases because of this mirroring effect.
The same basic thing occurs when the child’s Birth or PR Card matches the parent’s Birth, PR Card or Karma Card. In all these cases, there is a direct transference of personality traits and the mirroring principle involved. In many cases the child’s first name will be the same as the parent as well. Whenever you have a parent and child with the same name, check all their personal significators. Usually you will find a match somewhere since the same name has a similar effect as having the same card.
In Conclusion I hope this information can help us be better parents. The one point that stands out more than all the rest, at least in my mind, is that we parents have the greater burden of responsibility when it comes to how well we get along with our children. They are young and less experienced than us and are more likely to act out negative traits more readily. Hopefully, because we are older and more experienced, we will be able to act more maturely and with discretion. This guide to the cards and connections can serve to enlighten this more important area of our lives.