Imagine holding the key to complete material success, a magic key that would give you everything you want, in any area of your life, including love, finances, where you live, what you do? It is not only possible, but not that hard to do if you really do want it.
When we are young and we fall in love with someone, our perception of the world changes dramatically, especially if we think that our love is being shared by the other and that they feel the same as we. For a period of time, the world is a much happier, wondrous place. We feel connected and overall ‘better’ than we have ever felt. It is a magnificent experience, one that reminds us that there are aspects of life that make all the stress and struggles worthwhile. This is almost a mystical experience, one akin to taking a drug. Our entire perception of life is transformed and for a while, the world itself is transformed into a much better place.
In rare cases, relationships that begin this way progress to marriage. And our society tells us that this would be the most fortunate way for a marriage to start. So, the two get married and then face life as a couple. One or both of them work and often a child comes into the picture before too long. This is all part of the natural process. A great love is shared by the couple in this example, one that would be considered perfect by most standards. So the question is, why do such marriages usually fail? It is a fact that most marriages fail these days, and often much sooner than one would expect. Love turns to animosity and fear. Lovers become rivals and enemies. Divorce happens, and often the divorce is a horrible experience of fighting and blaming. So, this is what happens to our example couple, they fight and fight, become distant from each other and then realize that the relationship is just not worth the effort. They get divorced.
Now the two people in this make believe situation are single again. After such a rough divorce it may take a year or two before they even consider dating again. Life has returned to its normal state of stress and struggle. The magic that occurred when they had met the first time and fell in love is now forgotten.
Then, one of them meets someone new and the process begins all over again. Again there is that wonderful feeling of being in love that transforms life itself. And yet, even as this is happening, a little voice inside might be saying, ‘be careful, look what happened last time.’ What could possibly happen that would prevent this relationship from following the path of the last one?
Any relationship, and no matter how magical it begins, becomes unappreciated after a time. We take our partner for granted. We begin to focus more of our attention on what is wrong with the relationship rather than what is great about it. We forget why we wanted to be with our partner in the first place. In doing readings for couples, I often see a couple on the verge of divorce. As I look at their aspects together I see that these two are a match made in heaven. They have amazing connections to each other and I can tell just by looking that their relationship began in the most magical, wonderful way possible. And yet, here they are now, disconnected, distant, living separate lives and on the edge of separation and divorce. Sometimes I remind the person I am reading for, usually the woman, about how they felt when they first met. She remembers, but too much has passed for her to go back. All that happiness is just a memory, and a distant one at that.
If we step back and look at this situation, we can see it replicated in other areas of our life. Take our possessions, for example. Let’s say you buy a new car. For a while it is magical and you appreciate so much how wonderful it is. You might even take special care of it, keeping it clean and free from dents. You show it off to your friends and enjoy taking them for rides. But how long before this is all a memory and it is just your car. Even if you moved into the most beautiful, luxurious home on the planet, with a view to die for, it wouldn’t be long before it had little effect on you.
There is something important I learned about money that I have shared in my book, The Big Money Book. As I overcame my own poverty within myself I realized that one of the most important aspects of that was to affirm just how much material wealth I already have. Affirming that included daily exercises of a verbal affirmation and putting coins in my penny bank among other things. It absolutely worked and continues to work until this day. I remember thinking back then, ‘I wonder if this same principle could be applied to relationships and other areas of my life?’ I didn’t do much beyond speculate at that time but since then I have had time to actually practice this. And it works just as well in any area we choose to practice it with. This includes:
- Personal relationships
- Our job
- Our home or location
Every day we are faced with our life situation. And for some of us, some or all of these key areas above are just not good. We just don’t have enough and we want more. I am about to give you the magic key here that can completely change all of that. But before I do, you need to know that there are some things you will have to let go of if you really intend to have this wonderful life you say you want. You will have to give up complaining, for one. You will have to give up criticizing the elements of your life situation. Though you may be very right about how bad things are in your life right now, verbally complaining and whining about it are not helping you at all. However, you may be one of the millions of people today who derive a sense of satisfaction about being right about how bad things are. Being right about how bad things are in your life might be more important to you than actually having a better life. I want to warn you of this now because if you are in this category, nothing will help you. Your life will just continue downwards, as it has been going for some time now.
But if you want to see some amazing results in your life situation, here is the key. Start practicing being fortunate. Pick one area at a time to work on. That way, you will see results faster and get the experience you need to apply it to the other areas of your life. It is really quite simple but it must be practiced on a regular daily basis or nothing will change. The basic exercise is to affirm what you already have, and express verbally, how grateful you are for having it. Let’s say you are practicing in the area of your spouse or romantic partner. Many times a day, affirm to them how much you appreciate them in your life. Mention to them the little things about them or things that they do that are really special to you and that you appreciate. Do not fake this or contrive it. Just find the things you really do like about them and make a habit of sharing those feelings with them. It also works to just share them with yourself, but it is important that you say them out loud. And it is more powerful if you share the thoughts with them personally. You can use statements like, “I love it when you ______.” or “What I really love about you is ________.” Get in the habit of expressing positive feelings about your relationship whenever they occur. Here are some other things that come to mind:
- Don’t we have a wonderful life together?
- We are so fortunate to be together.
- I cannot believe how fortunate we are. I am so glad we are together.
- We are living a wonderful life.
- We have so much to be grateful for!
These kind of statements come from me spontaneously and I just say them when I feel them, which is frequently. And these feelings are usually shared by my partner.
Affirmations of this nature, of things that really do exist and that are just being pointed out, are extremely powerful. Imagine you are investing in a ‘love bank.’ Each time you speak out something like this, you have added dollars to your love bank. And these many daily deposits are accruing interest like crazy. You are literally generating good fortune. You are practicing the art of being fortunate!
This technique can be applied in any area of our life. Health is another good one, and of course finances are something that we can all use more of.
Practicing being fortunate is something you see being done in certain old people who seem immune to the struggles of life. You see them being grateful on a daily basis and you see this glow on their face. Regardless of their age, there is this vibrant quality about them. You too can be this kind of person who has intentionally decided to create a magical life and who has used the power of their attention to do just that. So, this is the key. All that is needed now is you, to practice it.