The first ‘Aha!’ experience

I had been driving now for four days. I had just left my sister’s house near Atlanta, GA and was driving up to Asheville, NC. Again listening to Eckhart I had to turn off the CD player at one point to digest, to make real what he had just said. I was focusing on the moment in front of me, being on the interstate and driving my car.

Just then I felt a feeling come over me. It was something difficult to describe. It was peace but much more than that. It was a fleeting glimpse of the now but ever so powerful that it stunned me. In that moment a flood of realizations occurred. I felt completely satisfied and content, a sense of peace that defies description. But along with that came the realization that this experience I was having held within it everything I had ever wanted in my entire life. I felt the urge to cry, to cry out of joy of having been given such a blessed experience. I had gone into the NOW and saw for myself what it was really about. It reminded me of an experience I had when I was 19 years old and I took some LSD. I had visited the NOW at that time. And that one visit got me on the path to get there naturally. This experience today was the fulfillment of that desire.

In the NOW I realized that everything I ever wanted was HERE and NOW. There was nowhere to go, nothing to want, nothing to get. It was all HERE NOW. As I write these words, I realize the paradoxical nature of what I am saying. It sounds like a riddle to be solved. But those are the only words that describe the experience. It was an experience of having everything I ever desired. So in that sense, it was the experience of EVERYTHING. And it was so simple. It was just WHAT IS.

I am the prodigal son who has left his father’s home, struggling to find peace and happiness when it was always right there. I am make believing that I need to do something, to accomplish something, to acquire something or someone in order to be worthy of happiness and joy. And yet, those were all assumptions that I made up from my imagination. It was never true that I had to do anything to be worthy of the highest experience of love and joy. It was never denied. It was only denied because I decided it was. And, it is always HERE anytime I wish to experience it.

Our mind/ego would have us believe that everything good lies in our future. It never says, “you can have that NOW.” Happiness, joy, love, fulfillment, prosperity, and good health are always somewhere in the future. It is our mind’s job to keep us focused on something that is not real. It is not real because it is something contrived and imagined. It is not NOW or HERE. It is always later and somewhere else. And that is our biggest problem. We can never accept that it is all HERE and NOW. If we did, our mind/ego would have to die, would cease to exist.

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